Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
