I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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