Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
