i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
