you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We're too hungover to prance.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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