how can u be prego again
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
