She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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