I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Randomize
