Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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