I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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