Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
