Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
So many bounce houses so little time
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
