He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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