Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I smell stomach acid.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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