I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
