Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
