I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
