I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
