Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
