But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
