in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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