If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
A bitchslap is in order.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
