Having a random hookup so left but love u
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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