Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Buhtt sex?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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