When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
