Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
