Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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