If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
