I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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