he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
