life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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