I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
