found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
