so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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