she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
