Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
