Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
