Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
