I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
