did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
