I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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