Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Shame - the story of my life.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
