how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
