Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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