Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
