Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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