Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Randomize
