I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
vagina is talking i cant
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Randomize
