his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
