Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
